So I'm sitting in a calculus midterm thursday afternoon. It went surprisingly well, thanks for asking. For 200-level calculus, it wasn't that bad. If I suck on it, it's because of first-year calc I chose to forget. But I should be fine. My friends around me appear to have bit it slightly harder than I did, so if we all suck we'll get scaled up. Oh, the glory of the scale.
Anyway, this one was 5 questions. I had time to do all 5, then redo the once I'd fucked up. This is to give you a relative time scale.
I did the same thing I always do. I walk in, pick a desk in the third row, toss my 100-lb backpack on the ground and put my feet up on the desk in front of me so no one sits there. Now, I was already sort of on edge cause the prof walked in EXACTLY at 1pm and then started handing out exams (exam was 1 til 215). I'm halfway through the first question and I can hear faint music in the background.
A voice inside me screams "what asshole doesn't shut their phone off for an exam? This is really distracting. I owe this prick a kick in the testicles." Like seriously, I appreciate you putting your phone away, but put the fucking thing on silent first. My phone was on the desk but was on silent (I used it as a clock. I've never been told to get it off the desk)
The music kinda went away by the end of my second question. I still cursed the ground that asshole walks on. How dare he? Has he no respect for the other 50 people in the room?
By the midpoint of my third question, it comes back. I lift my head up and look for the rat bastard fishing in his bag to shut off his distraction. My plan is to wait for him outside the exam room and then shove my foot carefully up his rectum. (insert "rectum? I damn near killed him" joke here.
Then, just as I'm getting ready to stand up and yell "Hey you balls-eating sons of bitches, have you cocks ever heard of putting your phone on silent?" a thought crosses my mind....
I reach down and unplug the headphones on my mp3 player and the noise goes away.
Effffffffffffffffff. So now I have a problem. I am a man of my word. A consequence of that is I am having trouble getting my foot out of my own anus. Any help would be appreciated, but I warn you, it's pretty graphic. I am sporting a sign "parental advisory: explicit content" when I leave the house.
On a less gross note, I should point out that I don't believe in "Earth Hour." This isn't because I'm a black-hearted, soulless economist bastard. (keeping in mind I'm working on an Environmental Sciences degree) This is because of my knowledge of the power distribution system. I simply will not be shutting off all of my power devices for one hour this evening.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
They let you have a cell phone AND an mp3 player whilst writing exams?! I thought that sort of nonsense and tomfoolery wasn't allowed in University! I suppose it's those silly Saskatoonian standards :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, will you explain to me the science behind the no-Earth-Hour-ness? I've always had a feeling that it wasn't effective, but am not sure why. Pretty please explains?
1. They do not let me. I simply do because I am badass. Also, they dont notice me look at the cell-phone as a clock, and the mp3 player is in my bag.
ReplyDelete2. I've been told that the power coming from substations is constant based on the average daily power use for the community (ie, if you turn your lights on, more power doesn't leave the substation, its just that more power goes from your box to your house). Thus, turning your lights off only really affects your power bill, not the amount coming from the station. This unaccounted-for power is essentially wasted. Nobody has been able to come up with a credible counter-argument for this, so until then I will believe it. I plan to ask the guys at work this summer just to make sure.
All in all, I feel this is a very effective tactic in bringing attention to the issue, but not so much in actually conserving power (to anyone besides yourself).
I expect some engineers will argue this with me, as they did in the library yesterday.
On a side not, I will celebrate Earth Hour next time I bring a girl home, but that has very little to do with power conservation.
1. You're right. That is pretty badass. I also thought that the headphones were in your ears when this all happened.
ReplyDelete2. It makes sense to me. I don't like it because it gives people an excuse to do their one good deed for the year and then go on ignoring everything.