What I sound like when i HAVE slept an appropriate amount

I slept for 8 hours last night. I had totally forgot what that felt like. This is wonderful.

So I realized that when KISS wrote "Destroyer", it was dedicated to my french abilities. Actually being awake today, I ran a rail all over the textbook today. Beginner French? I shower in that shit.

This carried over into Waves. I was aware enough to correct the Prof for stuff he did on the board. Although, this was bad, I realized after. Now that he knows I pick things out and am not scared to speak up, it'll be easier for him to notice when I'm asleep. Damn damn damn.

So, I have decided to create my own season of The Bachelor. Starring Me. So far I have one contestant. Ashley Olsen. "Mary-Kate" (apparently I'm not supposed to refer to her as the 'cracky, gross one') doesn't belong on my show. Yes I pick favourites. Get over it. Oh, and as soon as Heidi steals Mike from Hilary, Hilary can be on my show. Awesome. Casting is half over. As in the toughest half is over (finding ME). Sweet. I'll let you know when it airs. I'm totally going from the book of flava flav and naming them all when they enter my show. He totally kicks the Bachelor's ass. His show is like The Bachelor for an old drunk rapper with a clock around his neck. Classy as fuck. What was i talking about? I swear, I should never do mad crack. As is, I'm borderline add. With crack, I'd be all "woooooooooooooooah maaaaaaaaannnnn... My hands.... They can touch aaaaaaaaaanythiiiiiiiiiiiing..... except them seeeeeeelves....." (Brings hands together, and mind is blown. all i can mutter is "wooooooah")

Basically, listen to "Shine On, You Crazy Diamond" by Pink Floyd. or "Echoes". Yeah. I would sound like Echoes at 3 in the morning. That high. and then i would just sit on my bed and watch the elves dance.

What was I talking about?

speaking of which, i apologize if you get any weird messages from me that don't make sense. sometimes the elves i keep locked in my basement try to steal my phone and summon help. but they have fat, elvish fingers so they have trouble. and then i find them and spray them with the squirt bottle until they climb back into the crawlspace.

i should never procreate. seriously.