...
My apologies. I forgot something. In my defence, my mind has been kinda bottled all week. You know, when it feels like it's shaking around and nothing can get out, like it's trapped in a bottle? Anyway...
So the other night, ......
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We interrupt Phil's sexy blog to bring you this announcement.
WOMEN EVERYWHERE, STOP WATCHING THE TWILIGHT SERIES! HUMAN BOYS NEED LOVE TOO!!!!!!
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........ and that's where the cops found me. So i'm not allowed in the morgue anymore for obvious reasons. **shamed** Well, I think that's it. Until next time folks!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Now that I finally have a few minutes...
Yes I know, it's been a while. I've missed me too. Now that I have made a few minutes of free time, here are a few things that I have been unhappy with lately...
*The Greeks. Without them, my math might actually have numbers in it.
*People (not you, just people in the general sense). Please, for the love of God, do not answer your cell phone on the quiet floors of the library. Please. Yes, we all talk now and again to keep from going crazy, but this is a few words here and there, not half a conversation. Text your stupid friend to tell him where you are. Or walk to near the stairwell.
*The girl who sits in front of me in Stats. Why are you even there? The dude i sit beside doesnt write notes either, but at least he pays attention and isn't distracting. Really, if you want a room to work on statics in, there is probably a LIBRARY somewhere. Or are you there so that you can flirt with the dude who always wears the Riders hat? I have news for you: he's a douche. He was the guy who complained about everyone cheating on the exam, and about not having enough time. That, and he uses the phrase "my girlfriend" in every sentence. She sounds made up.
*Tuukka Rask, backup goalie in Boston. I picked Tim Thomas in the draft, so you can just go ahead and fuck off anytime now.
*Time. If i could control you, I would do MUCH better in chem labs.
In a rare occurrance, here are some things I have been happy with lately...
*santa hats.
*Football. The only things sweeter than watching burrASS throw 3 interceptions is when burrASS also gets tackled for a loss 4 times. And referring to him as burrASS.
*Heidi's "geology face": it's that look that reminds me i'm not the only one who thinks this class might drive me into future alcoholism.
*Calculus. Textbook: $110.00; Assorted Pens, Highlighters, a Pencil, and a Notebook: ~$5.00; NOT getting my ass kicked by a bunch of dead Greeks: priceless.
*The Greeks. Without them, my math might actually have numbers in it.
*People (not you, just people in the general sense). Please, for the love of God, do not answer your cell phone on the quiet floors of the library. Please. Yes, we all talk now and again to keep from going crazy, but this is a few words here and there, not half a conversation. Text your stupid friend to tell him where you are. Or walk to near the stairwell.
*The girl who sits in front of me in Stats. Why are you even there? The dude i sit beside doesnt write notes either, but at least he pays attention and isn't distracting. Really, if you want a room to work on statics in, there is probably a LIBRARY somewhere. Or are you there so that you can flirt with the dude who always wears the Riders hat? I have news for you: he's a douche. He was the guy who complained about everyone cheating on the exam, and about not having enough time. That, and he uses the phrase "my girlfriend" in every sentence. She sounds made up.
*Tuukka Rask, backup goalie in Boston. I picked Tim Thomas in the draft, so you can just go ahead and fuck off anytime now.
*Time. If i could control you, I would do MUCH better in chem labs.
In a rare occurrance, here are some things I have been happy with lately...
*santa hats.
*Football. The only things sweeter than watching burrASS throw 3 interceptions is when burrASS also gets tackled for a loss 4 times. And referring to him as burrASS.
*Heidi's "geology face": it's that look that reminds me i'm not the only one who thinks this class might drive me into future alcoholism.
*Calculus. Textbook: $110.00; Assorted Pens, Highlighters, a Pencil, and a Notebook: ~$5.00; NOT getting my ass kicked by a bunch of dead Greeks: priceless.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Basketball wrap-up
I look and feel like a cage fighter. This would of course be under Ron Burgundy rules, with no touching of the hair or face. But besides that, yeah. My poor arms. I bruise like a peach.
This was one of those games I used to love in high school. Me an Nut combine for 6-quarters worth of bench minutes (cause we're in bad shape), 4 points and 10 fouls. Grade 10 all over again. On one hand, God I missed this. But on the other hand, I think I'm too old for this shit.
In high school, after a game like this, we would all high-5 and be ready to go at er again the next morning. Now, it hurt to brush my teeth. Let's keep in mind that my pain tolerance is relative mild. Compared to an infant.
On a not entirely unrelated topic, Jer has shown his versatility. Aside from playing center, he is also filling the position of "Safety Ambassator" for our roster. We are happy to have him, as we have never had the position filled by a man of his stature. (I am more than happy to give that job up)
Good on ya, and just remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get fouled out.
This was one of those games I used to love in high school. Me an Nut combine for 6-quarters worth of bench minutes (cause we're in bad shape), 4 points and 10 fouls. Grade 10 all over again. On one hand, God I missed this. But on the other hand, I think I'm too old for this shit.
In high school, after a game like this, we would all high-5 and be ready to go at er again the next morning. Now, it hurt to brush my teeth. Let's keep in mind that my pain tolerance is relative mild. Compared to an infant.
On a not entirely unrelated topic, Jer has shown his versatility. Aside from playing center, he is also filling the position of "Safety Ambassator" for our roster. We are happy to have him, as we have never had the position filled by a man of his stature. (I am more than happy to give that job up)
Good on ya, and just remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get fouled out.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Phil's Halloween Notebook
This Halloween, I learned an important lesson on drawing attention to one's self. It's a no-brainer that for a girl to draw attention to herself, she should simply dress like a slutty ANYTHING, (I saw aerobics instructors, bumblebees, grandma/cat ladies, and the list goes on) although going the other route is far more respectable. For a dude to draw attention to himself, he must dress as Sidney Crosby.
A girl in Subway walked in, saw me standing at the til, said to her friend "OH MY GOD ITS SIDNEY CROSBY!!!!", walked up, and asked me if i was the real sidney crosby. (I point out that this particular subway is beside a skeezy bar) In a split decision, I chose to be honest. Had i said "yes, wanna come back to my place?" i would have made this girl's night... until we got to my house (which is in saskatoon, because after all, that's where sidney is from o.O) and, upon realizing, she screamed "YOU'RE NOT CROSBY!!! YOU'RE A FAKE!!! THIS JERSEY COMES RIGHT OFF!!!"
This all ran through my mind at that moment, and I chose to not crush the dreams of this poor girl. Keep searching, lady. I have faith in your ability to bed Sid the Kid.
The attention went on. Walking into cochet's house party, three girls on mark's couch pointed at the door and exclaimed to their friends "IT'S CROSBY!!" Then, when jer walked in behind me, they said "IT'S CROSBY AGAIN!!!"
But the eyes of both genders were drawn. On my walk from Subway to my buddy's house, 3 different guys yelled "CROSBY'S A FAG. GO OVECHKIN". Poor dudes couldn't see that I had a soother in my mouth and a bad teenage moustache as part of the crosby attire. (note 3) Also, drunk people are distasteful.
A few closing notes:
1. Crosby: love him or hate him, pretending to be him makes the night far more entertaining.
2. Crazy Subway girl, if i was in fact Sid, I would not be caught dead at a Subway in Saskatoon. I would spring the extra couple bucks and eat at Quizznos.
3. If you are pissing behind a dumpster on the corner of 33rd and Idywyld while the cops are parked at that corner, you have no business making fun of ANYBODY. (for you out-of-towners, this is a busy corner. it'd be like peeing on the corner of 114th and whyte)
I close on an unrelated note: I am bothered by snowfall. It's white, it's on my land, and I don't like it.
A girl in Subway walked in, saw me standing at the til, said to her friend "OH MY GOD ITS SIDNEY CROSBY!!!!", walked up, and asked me if i was the real sidney crosby. (I point out that this particular subway is beside a skeezy bar) In a split decision, I chose to be honest. Had i said "yes, wanna come back to my place?" i would have made this girl's night... until we got to my house (which is in saskatoon, because after all, that's where sidney is from o.O) and, upon realizing, she screamed "YOU'RE NOT CROSBY!!! YOU'RE A FAKE!!! THIS JERSEY COMES RIGHT OFF!!!"
This all ran through my mind at that moment, and I chose to not crush the dreams of this poor girl. Keep searching, lady. I have faith in your ability to bed Sid the Kid.
The attention went on. Walking into cochet's house party, three girls on mark's couch pointed at the door and exclaimed to their friends "IT'S CROSBY!!" Then, when jer walked in behind me, they said "IT'S CROSBY AGAIN!!!"
But the eyes of both genders were drawn. On my walk from Subway to my buddy's house, 3 different guys yelled "CROSBY'S A FAG. GO OVECHKIN". Poor dudes couldn't see that I had a soother in my mouth and a bad teenage moustache as part of the crosby attire. (note 3) Also, drunk people are distasteful.
A few closing notes:
1. Crosby: love him or hate him, pretending to be him makes the night far more entertaining.
2. Crazy Subway girl, if i was in fact Sid, I would not be caught dead at a Subway in Saskatoon. I would spring the extra couple bucks and eat at Quizznos.
3. If you are pissing behind a dumpster on the corner of 33rd and Idywyld while the cops are parked at that corner, you have no business making fun of ANYBODY. (for you out-of-towners, this is a busy corner. it'd be like peeing on the corner of 114th and whyte)
I close on an unrelated note: I am bothered by snowfall. It's white, it's on my land, and I don't like it.
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